A Journey of Self-Discovery

Before coming to India I was so full of anxiety and fears, I knew this would change me in a way I could only imagine. When I first got to India an uneasy feeling filled my body as I seen children banging on the taxi door begging for me to buy something but yet looking the other way even though feeling guilty. Soldiers holding rifles in the street and seeing the poor conditions of what people are forced to live in, some with dirty clothes that are probably the only clothes they own.

The pollution in the air and stray dogs roaming the streets hunting for food. Public transport over crowding and it breaks my heart to see such conditions. We see it on the news and can hear the stories but tend to shrug it off as something on television but to actually see it with my very own eyes and be in India, seeing it first hand is a real shock. Normally it is just tucked away but to actually be here and confronted by it has opened my eyes and this is only the beginning of what I will see. I can no longer ignore it.

I am reminding myself how privileged I am, I have a family who loves me, plenty of clothes to wear, food to eat and a good country to live in.

This whole experience has really been an eye opener, to see some of the world from eyes that haven’t been opened before. I have experienced so much and gained a lot.

I have often struggled in life and have always thought that my life was missing something. I have lost myself many times and I knew that I needed to take a journey of self-discovery. It was time to finally put all fears aside and dive within the depths of my soul and this is how I ended up becoming a student at Paramanand Ashram.

Coming to Paramanand Ashram has given me the chance to see things differently. Before learning about yoga I thought it was just an exercise class designed for stretching the body while focusing on breathing. I did not see the importance for any other reason. Since learning about yoga I realise that it is so much more and I have learnt that the soul has three properties and they are Existence, Consciousness and soul.

It can only be achieved by only living by truth and not by tricking or taking shortcuts.The purpose of yoga is to purify and detox ourselves to bring balance, to awaken, activate and stimulate all five bodies and in asanas, everybody needs to condition their body to their own ability and capacity.

Sometimes when we try to go beyond our limits and what our body is capable of doing at the time, it can lead to frustration and this is one of the reasons we need to only do what our bodies are capable of doing. Yoga is about pouring your wisdom in others and to help remove darkness but first we must remove the darkness from our own lives.

Opening up wounds on purpose to truly let go and heal. To trust again and experience life from new perspective, to let go of cords of attachments, letting go of fear and although it has been an up and down rollercoaster at times, I would not change it. This whole journey has taken me beyond everything I thought I knew. Nearly half way through my course and I know that over the next couple of weeks I will peel back even more layers and without expectations just freely live.

At times I have wanted to come home, I have felt extreme floods of emotions, love, hate, anger, frustration, sorrow, kindness and compassion, laughing so hard that I have cried and deep meditations.

I have shifted gears into this new transition and woke up with new opportunities to change and evolve towards what has always been and always will be. The choices that I choose to make every morning, the chance to live my life in a different way and to meet my destiny and my responsibilities. My life has changed since my yoga journey.

The eternal constant experiment of every second between the opposite sides of a perception of duality and separation. The cultural difference that divides us but at the same time unites us and reminds me that we are the same. I have no expectations in life but I know that this has changed me and I will go back to Australia different. I know I will be much happier and deal with things better. I will rely on myself more and accept my past but not dwell on it. My future looks bright and happy.

Melissa Anne Jamieson

3 March 2017